Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m in my second year of teaching and am exhausted all the time. I thought it would help to cut out my weeknight activities, so I canceled my barre class and book club. But now I’ve gotten to the point now where I don’t even want to do anything on the weekends either. Does teacher exhaustion ever get better? Or is this a problem I need to fix myself?
—Exhausted New Teacher
Dear E.N.T.,
I feel you. The exhaustion is so real. Mentally, people might think the second year of teaching is easier—they’ve gotten through the first, “worst” year, right? In reality, most research shows the first five years of teaching are some of the toughest teachers face. I distinctly remember coming home on a Friday afternoon and sleeping from 4 to 8 p.m. one day during my second year. Heck, I did that a few days ago, 13 years into my career. So it’s not just you.
So, you cut out your weeknight activities to feel less exhausted. I have two questions: First, what did you gain in cutting those out? Are you sleeping or recharging more? If you cut out your weekday activities to fill them with more planning or unhealthy coping strategies (doomscrolling), that might be less helpful than hoped. Do a quick audit of how you’re actually using your time and do some pre-planning each week to ensure you’re setting healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself.
I’m also wondering, though, if the exhaustion you’re feeling is less about actual rest and possibly a symptom of burnout. While taking things off your plate—barre class, book club—might seem like a good idea, those may have been the things that filled your bucket.
Teaching is not just a mental and physical workout, it’s also emotionally taxing. It’s important to take time to do things that bring you joy outside of your classroom so that you cultivate rejuvenation consistently. I know this can be so hard, but I often find that taking the space to do things for myself—going for a run, lunch with a friend, reading a book for pleasure—makes me a better teacher, mom, wife, and human. I’d ask how you feel after going to barre and book club. Do they make you feel better? If so, it might be time to bring them back. If not, find pursuits that help you feel like your best self.
So, I do think it gets a little easier as you feel more confident as an educator and learn to set boundaries. Cultivating space to rest and taking meaningful time to recharge now are important practices to help you thrive in the long marathon of teaching. I believe in you, and I’m sending you wishes for rest and joy!
Dear We Are Teachers,
Recently, we had a special event day for one grade level in my school. While I don’t teach that grade level, the event meant that all “extra hands” were pulled to assist with the event in some way, and I ended up having students ALL day. I had no lunch break, no planning time, nothing. We had a day like this last month and have another one scheduled this week. These days are really rough on my mental health. Is this normal? What can I do about this?
—Begging for a Breather
Dear B.F.A.B.,
Your desire for a break is entirely understandable. Many people outside the classroom don’t understand that being “on” can be emotionally exhausting.
As for being “normal,” it depends on the context. In an independent school, we have similar “all hands” days—the first day of school, for example—that are part of our teaching duties. That said, they are very rare (maybe three a year), we have lots of notice, and we still get lunch breaks. Many teachers’ contracts—whether in independent or public school—mandate a lunch period during which you cannot be mandated to work.
If you are at a public school, contact your union representative. It’s possible what you’re describing violates union contracts in some way. If it violates the contract, the union can support you in your best move forward. Alternatively, should the union say it’s allowable, a representative should explain that to you.
If you’re not protected by a union, you’ll need to look at your contract. Some contracts have language around “meal breaks” or “rest periods” to look out for (e.g., 30-minute meal periods), when administrators cannot mandate work. If your school is breaking your contract, and you feel comfortable raising that with your supervisors, it is worth bringing up. You also, though, want to look for language about “mandatory activities” or “outside normal working hours” that may exist. If that’s present, it’s possible your school is within your contract, as frustrating as that is.
If you bring this up, be clear and level-headed when you do. Hurling accusations off the bat, even if warranted, are less likely to get the desired outcome. You can open with questions: How often is this going to happen? Can teachers support each other in getting at least a lunch break? If it violates a contract, does the administration recognize that and have plans to mitigate that moving forward? Also, any fellow teachers who are equally frustrated could join with you to create a more unified position.
If your administration refuses to change and is not legally obligated to do so, or if you are reticent to bring it up, you need to decide if this is an environment worth staying in. Is this a frustrating but occasional issue that you’re willing to overlook? Or is this so (understandably) taxing that it’s worth looking for a new school community?
No matter what, I want to drive one point home: You deserve breaks during your workday. Do not let anyone convince you that routinely denying you breaks is “part of the job.” Take care of yourself and protect your time and peace. I believe in you, and I’m wishing you success!
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m feeling beyond frustrated with the “collateral” cost of teaching: getting sick. I had COVID-19 during Thanksgiving break and bronchitis for winter break, and I still see students come to school coughing and sniffling. This made me resentful and worried about getting sick again, which is already adding on to my preexisting burnout. How can I reclaim some self-care and manage these difficult issues?
—Sniffling Through the Spring
Dear S.T.T.S.,
As the parent of two toddlers, this question hits home. My kids have already managed hand, foot, mouth, pink eye, RSV, and flu breakouts at their preschool and daycare. Several news outlets have proclaimed this the toughest winter and worst flu season in recent decades. It (“it” being *gestures around* “the sickness”) is out there. As a teacher, it often means we are subjected to illnesses from multiple places (i.e., large groups of children, colleagues, etc.). I’m currently getting over a nasty cold as I write this.
First, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention being up-to-date on vaccines, per American Medical Association recommendations. If you don’t remember the last time you were vaccinated (or who your primary care provider is), this is a good time to do some preventative care. I know it’s easy to NOT follow up on our own health, but building a relationship with your PCP can help if/when you get sick.
Another support is wearing a mask. You could make that a daily practice—my colleagues who wear masks note they get sick less—or implement it if you feel it’s a high-sickness time (e.g., many of your students are coughing/sniffling). I have a box of masks I keep in my office to protect myself and my students. There’s also some research about nasal rinses shortening the duration of illness.
As far as taking care of your emotional well-being, I notice you mention preexisting burnout. Taking care of yourself in other ways—getting enough rest, drinking enough water, taking care of your physical health, etc.—can ensure you aren’t as susceptible to getting sick. If you’re feeling burned out, setting expectations and creating boundaries may help you take care of yourself in the long run.
Finally, try to recognize what is and isn’t in the locus of your control. Getting sick is so frustrating … and there’s only so much you can do. I can take preventative care of myself, but I can’t fully control whether I get sick. When I am sick, I take my sick time (as should you!), let myself have a little pity party, and then remind myself that worrying or holding on to anger for too long only makes me feel worse. If it’s not enough to leave the classroom—if it is, that’s a different conversation—we have to learn how to accept what we can control and let go of what we can’t. It’s easier said than done, though, so I’m sending you lots of care. I believe in you.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
Our elementary school has a spring carnival every year, and every year students can vote on which teachers or administrators are eligible for a “pie in the face” booth. Students can then purchase tickets to be in the lottery to pie the person of their choice. I was voted in this year, and when I told my principal I wanted to opt out, he said, “Sorry, this is an ‘other duties as assigned’ kind of thing.” I was floored. Am I being a bad sport, or this is a wild take?
—Crusty Critic
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