Whether you are a player, a coach, or a fan, basketball can be a stressful sport. That’s why it’s good to lighten the mood sometimes. How? Tell a few basketball jokes! Because who doesn’t love a good joke or pun, especially when they’re about your favorite sport? Check out the best basketball jokes to share with anyone who loves the game.
Our Favorite Basketball Jokes
Which Star Wars character is the best basketball player?
Kobe-Wan Kenobi.
What do basketball centers dance to at prom?
POST Malone.
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of basketball shot?
A jump hook.
I’ve got a great idea for an NBA-themed fast-food restaurant.
I’ll call it Shake-Shaq.
Why did the basketball player go to jail?
He shot the ball.
Why do basketball players love astronomy?
They are shooting stars.
What do you call an NBA basketball player that misses dunks?
Alley Whoops.
What role does a Dalmatian fill on a basketball team?
“Spot” shooter.
Why are spiders great at basketball?
Because they’re eight-footers.
Where do point guards take their dates to dance?
Basket balls.
How do you beat the Heat in the summertime?
Score more points than them.
What do you call a shrimp that is good at basketball?
LePrawn James.
What do the band Lynyrd Skynyrd and the 1980s Boston Celtics offense have in common?
Free Bird.
Why did the basketball player always use a pay phone?
He loved dropping dimes.
What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?
To travel more.
Why did the anti-vax basketball team lose every game?
They never take any shots.
What do Karl Malone, Santa Claus, and the mailman have in common?
They always deliver.
What is the worst basketball warm-up song?
Another Brick in the Wall.
Why are ghosts best at defense in basketball?
They are great at getting through screens.
What is Santa’s favorite basketball play?
The give-and-Go! Go! Go!
What do you get when you cross a basketball player with a monster?
A double header.
How did my tennis career teach me I could be a great basketball player?
I’m great at nothing but net.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?
Swiss.
Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to music?
Because he broke the record.
What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?
A tall tale.
What was the alligator’s favorite basketball move?
The alli-oop.
Why did Cinderella fail at basketball?
Because she ran away from the ball.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight?
Become a referee.
What happens when your basketball team loses in March?
You get March Madness sadness.
Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to the game?
Because he traveled a lot.
What is a heart surgeon’s favorite basketball team of all time?
The 1983 N.C. State NCAA Champions because they were nicknamed the Cardiac Pack.
Why do so many basketball players fail their tests in school?
Because they don’t want to pass.
What are basketball players’ favorite snack?
Dunk-Aroos.
Why was the basketball coach wearing sunglasses to school?
He had bright players.
If Shaquille O’Neal was a shade of blue, what shade would he be?
Shaquille O’Teal.
What type of earrings does a basketball player wear?
Hoops.
What are basketball players’ favorite type of firework?
A flare (screen).
What’s the first meal of the day called for basketball players?
Fast breaks!
What sports team is hated by all beard lovers?
The LA Clippers.
Missile toe.
Why did the Harlem Globetrotters have a ghost on their team?
To add a little team spirit.
Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court?
It’s always getting tentacle fouls.
Why is playing basketball with vampires tough?
No blood, no foul!
Did you hear about the ghost’s basketball team?
They can’t shoot or defend, but they have a lot of team spirit!
Why was the mummy a great sixth man?
Because the coach knew once he sent the mummy in, the game would be all wrapped up.
What do you call a 3-pointer during a heat wave?
A hot shot.
Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the basketball game?
Because he had no body to go with.
What do you call a pumpkin that plays basketball?
A jock-o’-lantern.
What position did the pumpkin play on the basketball team?
It was a point gourd.
What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
What do an angry bunny and an NBA dunk champion have in common?
Mad hops.
A granddaughter was visiting her grandma at the nursing home. When the girl walked into the room, the grandma smiled. The girl enthusiastically said, “Grandma you have March Madness teeth! You are down to your Final Four!”
Who was the poet of basketball?
Longfellow.
What is Santa’s favorite basketball team?
The Milwaukee Bucks.
Why couldn’t the basketball addict recover?
He rebounded.
If the Pilgrims were alive today and played basketball, what would they be most famous for?
Their age.
What sound does a limping turkey make after a sprained ankle at a basketball game?
“Wobble, wobble!”
What’s the difference between Kevin McHale and time?
Time passes.
What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
A ball hog.
What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?
One drools and the other dribbles.
What do scrambled eggs and a losing basketball team have in common?
They both have been beaten.
In what sport does a basket get filled but is never full?
Basketball.
Why do basketball players love cookies?
Because they can dunk them.
Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team?
It didn’t get picked.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
They stand near the fans.
What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A basketball coach.
Why was the basketball court wet?
Because people were always dribbling on it.
Why did people think Michael Jordan was conceited?
Because he was always putting on Airs.
What happened when basketball sued tennis?
They had to go to court.
Which basketball team always donates blood?
The Hemoglobe-trotters.
I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting larger and larger.
Then it hit me.
Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball?
Because they are aren’t alive.
Why are basketball players the most upstanding members of society?
Because people look up to them.
Why did the basketball team join a craft club?
Because they wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
They aren’t allowed to travel.
Why was the basketball player scared of himself?
He’s afraid of heights.
What was the new sci-fi basketball show called?
Hooper Natural.
Why don’t fish like basketball?
They’re afraid of the nets.
What do you call a sad basketball player?
A bawler.
What do basketball players say when they miss a basket?
Shoot.
Why did the basketball player bring pencils to the NBA game?
He wanted to draw fouls.
Which dinosaur was the best at playing basketball?
The LeBrontosaurus.
Why was Cinderella a bad basketball player?
Because her coach was a pumpkin.
Which animal is best at basketball?
A score-pion.
Why are basketball players good at handling breakups?
Because they can always rebound.
Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and begin sketching pictures of chickens?
He was learning how to draw fowls.
Why is it a mistake to play basketball with pigs?
They hog the ball.
Why can’t you get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle?
Because cheetahs are all over the place.
When is the only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team?
Five after nine.
Which basketball player would be a great spokesperson for autumn?
Tacko Fall.
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive scored!
What are the favorite video games of basketball players?
Shooting Stars.
What do you call a basketball player with allergies?
Scottie Epipen.
What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?
Get out of the way.
Why don’t basketball players like to leave their hometowns?
They hate traveling so much.
What do you call a basketball player who smells really good?
Kevin Deodurant.
What did March say to all the madness?
“What’s all that bracket?”
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
What did the triangle offense say to the ball?
“You’re pointless.”
Why has Europe never won Olympic gold in basketball?
Because Europe is not a country.
How do you know when a basketball coach loves dogs?
He has 3-pointers.
What was the name of the basketball player who tried to shoot hoops on a hockey rink?
Scottie Slippen.
Legend has it that basketball used to be played with glass beads, and we only started using rubber balls in the 1800s. Switching was indeed a marbleless idea.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
I saw a man walking through the airport holding a basketball. He must have been traveling.
Why was the basketball player arrested?
He was caught dunk-driving.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because the players are always dribbling everywhere.
Which member of a basketball team has the biggest sneakers?
The one with the biggest feet.
What did the sports announcer say about the basketball team that kept losing?
They’re a team in transition—they’ve gone from bad to worse.
Where is a basketball player’s favorite place to eat?
Dunkin’ Donuts.
Why did the basketball player visit the bank?
His checks were all bouncing.
What do you call a monkey that wins back-to-back basketball titles?
A chimpion.
What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?
A bouncing baby boa.
Why were the basketball team’s jerseys so full of static?
The team was out of Bounce.
Who is the best basketball player in the Hundred Acre Wood?
Tigger, because he loves to bounce!
Why didn’t the lousy basketball team have a website?
They can’t string three W’s together.
Two basketball teams play a game. The home team ends up winning, but not a single man from either team scored a basket. How can this be?
They were women’s basketball teams.
Hanging in the trophy chest at the high school were basketball team photos from past school years. A player in each photo held a basketball identifying the year—72-73, 73-74, 74-75, etc. One day, a freshman was looking curiously at the photos. Turning to a teacher, he said, “Isn’t it weird how every team lost by just one point?”
How many bad basketball players does it take to change a tire?
One. Unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
What do you get when you cross a baker and a basketball player?
Someone who knows how to dunk cookies!
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